We’re taking a little detour on the 3-part series on cleansing because I wanted to speak from my heart today. For some reason I cannot get this particular topic off my mind, and I feel a sense of urgency to share what’s on my heart with you. And I always recommend following the tugs of your heart…
For too long I’ve watched from the sidelines many of my friends engage in unhealthy relationships, dumb down the person they are, obsessively lose weight, change who they are for someone else, and ultimately disrespect the person she is. Why?
I listened to a couple messages the other day by Matt Chandler, a pastor at The Village Church out of Dallas, Texas. I often listen to audio recordings or read books that help keep me positive throughout each day as well as challenge me to continually make choices which lend to a positive attitude. Making these habits a daily priority is essential to success and personal growth. His messages prompted me to share the message of self-respect and self-worth with you all.
We are constantly bombarded with images of beautiful women on TV, in magazines, and all over social media. The housewives on television portray this facade of what the perfect mother or wife looks like: she’s probably petite, size 00-2, big boobs, teeny waist, flourishing career, mommy-of-the-year, and also makes time to work out and maintain a vibrant social life. At least that’s what we see prancing through the TV from our point of view on the couch.
We observe this and many of us believe we’ll never measure up to that. What man would actually want to love us? We think sharply of ourselves: I’ll never be that kind of woman. So we make decisions based on what we believe we are worth.
To be honest, I’ve been there and it’s a daily struggle to turn from my human nature of comparing myself to other women, instead of lovingly allowing myself to become the woman I was created to be.
Where do we begin on our journey to be that woman?
1. Positive Self-Talk
A couple weeks ago I shared with you how important the power of positive thinking is on your life. If you’re going to make strides in becoming the woman you were created to be, it has to start with what you’re saying between your own two ears. You cannot begin to respect YOU if you can’t even offer up a compliment to yourself.
2. Be Proud of the Woman You Have Become and Are Becoming
For some reason, some women think men don’t want a successful woman or that they’re “intimidated” by a woman who is secure, smart, and successful. NEWSFLASH: there are plenty of men out there who are absolutely intimidated. SO WHAT!!!!??? DO NOT LIMIT YOURSELF OR DUMB YOURSELF DOWN JUST TO GET A MAN!!! It will always end up badly and you will not be treated with respect. Eventually your security and success will come screaming out and his insecurities will come out as well. His insecurities will come out either passively or aggressively, but either way, you will eventually be faced with this issue. TRUST ME! I see it time and time again. Most of my friends don’t take my advice, they end up in a relationship just to feel loved, and they end up getting hurt again and again. Then we sit there and they ask me “What went wrong?” or “Why does this always happen to me?” Maybe you have been there, too. The right man will eventually come alongside you and meet you where you are at in life! Just relax, enjoy the journey, and find your self-worth apart from a man.
3. Visualize the Kind of Woman You Want to Be
Maybe this sounds silly, but you cannot reach a goal unless you have clearly defined what that means to you. Defining your own terms is the key to meeting that goal.
Write down 5-10 characteristics of the woman you desire to be: confident, beautiful, funny, successful, married, loving, compassionate, passionate… anything at all. Do you get the point?
4. Respect Yourself
I want you to understand the importance of having respect for yourself. Respecting oneself means that you truly believe your life has value. Think about something in your life that you believe holds value.
Let’s make it simple. For the sake of a quick example, let’s say you just got engaged. The ring is perfect, everything you ever imagined it would be. Your ring holds value to you. Not only is it sparkling in the sunlight, but it also means the man of your dreams has just asked you to live happily ever after with him.
What is the first thing you want to do? You want to show it off to everybody, let it sparkle in the sunlight, and tell everyone about your love story! This ring holds value to you. If you have any respect for that ring, chances are you’re going to take care of it. You will keep it clean, probably take it off while doing the dishes, and keep it in a safe place when you’re not wearing it. You respect the value the ring holds.
Do you understand where I’m going with this? If you respect yourself, you believe that you are valuable! You are careful about the environment you engage in, you want to keep yourself pure and polished, take care of yourself, and let your beauty shine through. You will not let anyone disrespect you or even let YOU devalue yourself. When you believe have value, you start to act differently, carry yourself differently, and engage in relationships differently. You run from people who try to limit your worth and run towards people who add to your value. It truly is a beautiful thing!
CALL TO ACTION:
You must understand that your life holds value; otherwise you would not have been put on this earth. There is no one in this world like you and no one in this world created for the same purpose as you. You are beautiful, strong, confident, pure, sensitive, passionate, loving, giving, and so many other characteristics that are valuable to you and will offer value to others.
↠ Write down 5-10 characteristics you believe make YOU valuable! If you have a hard time with this, don’t worry; you can borrow some of my adjectives that I’ve listed here. You must say OUT LOUD these characteristics to yourself every morning and every night. In order to believe them, you have to hear them.
You must understand that your life holds value; otherwise you would not have been put on this earth.
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I want you to think about how differently we would view the world if everyone believed they were valuable. We would all conduct ourselves differently, relationships would be valued, words would be chosen more wisely, and life would be viewed as something absolutely wonderful! I know you cannot control anyone else, but we can each decide to treat ourselves with respect and others with respect. When you begin to value your life -- your love and respect for yourself and others will also be valued!
Post written by Meghan Johnson, to read her other posts go here.